If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
