i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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