stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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