I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
