Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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