Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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