It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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