just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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