he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
