Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
