something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
