is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize