I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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