Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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