I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
