just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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