Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
