You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
