there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
