when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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