I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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