He asked to "fluff my boner.."
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
