Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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