so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
