he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
