I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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