Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
