the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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