forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
wow bdsm is so cute
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