I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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