her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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