So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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