I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
