I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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