I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
