I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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