we should wear snuggies to the strip club
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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