so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
