i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
