So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
