I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
