Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
