I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
