Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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