it was like his penis was on wheels.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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