I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just gargled with NyQuil
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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