I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
