and you said cock pushups were impossible
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
