He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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