Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just google imaged poop.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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