Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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