that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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