We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
where am i from again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize