so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I will pee on everything he values.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We need a shit load of segways right now
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
