You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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