I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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