I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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