You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
They took my balls.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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