I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
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He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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