My first STD was from a foam party
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize