Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
