i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
