I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
