Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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