Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
