thus making me awesome and them whores
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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