I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
