yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
