Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
