I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
